Does Talking Help?

If you are depressed and went online looking for answers, chances are, that you received some of this advice - talk about your feelings, express your emotions, speak out your depressive thoughts - over and over. Many of you have tried talking to your friends and family but realised that it leads nowhere and you end up feeling frustrated.

Ever wondered why it did not work or if talking really helps? It is likely that you were not taught how and whom to express yourself to, to get the respite you were looking for.

So let’s look at some basics of whom to talk to, how to talk and how to listen.

Who to talk to:

-Be judicious about who you share your emotions with.

-Close friends and family can provide you with some support.

-Casual friends or professional colleagues may not be able to provide empathy or give you time, making you feel rejected.

-Mental health professionals are some of the best people to talk to as they can provide you information as well as advice and treatment if required.

-Avoid sharing personal information on social media that you might regret later.

How to talk:

-Find a setting that is comfortable for you to express yourself. Choose a place and time of the day that makes you feel at ease.

-Ensure that you have privacy during the conversation.

-Express your thoughts and feelings as clearly and openly as possible.

-If you have decided to talk to your friends or family, understand that, even though they care about you and want to help you, they might not be able to make you feel better.

-If you do not feel better after talking or your negative feelings return, then seek professional help at the earliest.

-Find a therapist/doctor who you are comfortable with. Each person is different and a therapist who is good for your friend might not suit your needs.

-Do not hesitate to let your doctor know if the treatment and therapy don’t seem to be working for you.

As a friend or family member: (How to listen)

-Provide emotional support. EMPATHISE.

-Don’t say that you understand (even if you have been through a similar situation, every individual is unique in the way they process it).

-Don’t compare their situation with anyone else’s.

-Don’t pressurize them to exercise, eat healthy or meditate because not being able to follow this common advice can make a depressed person feel even worse.

-Leave medical advice to the experts.

-If your loved one feels they need to see a doctor, please don’t discourage them.

-Help them reach a professional and support them through the treatment process.

-Get more information about depression and on how to persuade your loved ones to seek professional help.

Be aware that:

Repeatedly sharing our negative feelings, depressive and suicidal thoughts can sometimes lead to

-Alienation by friends

-Facing rejection from friends and family in terms of support

-Not feeling understood

-Getting advice that doesn’t work (eg. to hide feelings and move on, to "keep yourself busy",stop thinking about it, try harder)

-All these can lead to frustration and loneliness, and ultimately increase feelings of depression.

The best solution in this case is to seek professional help and build positive social interactions again.

There are various EFFECTIVE TREATMENTS available and often medicines are essential in the acute phase of depression.

-The MEDICINES will not make you an addict and they will not last your whole lifetime.

-Delay in getting treatment can make it difficult for the treatments to work. So DO NOT DELAY.

So remember that though talking can help in allaying sadness in the short term, it is not a treatment for depression. Seek advice and help your dear ones seek professional advice too.